*warning: sensitive material ahead*
I have always had a belly. However, since I am an athlete and grew up in a healthy household, I have never been considered overweight. I float in a gray zone of societal tolerance, where sometimes I look small enough to be considered thin (and therefore thought healthy), but others will also view me as “too big.”
As I started getting older, I also started receiving comments about how my body looked. The first comment I remember was from one of my childhood friends when I was eight, who called me a pig for eating a lot of popcorn and told me I had ugly stomach rolls. When I was only eleven, my dance teacher said I needed to ‘start losing my baby belly’ since “professional dancers don’t have fat.”
The body comments have only continued into adulthood. My college professor regularly told my classmates and I that our bodies were "too jiggly and gross to watch". Even my own colleague told me that having a gut automatically made me a less qualified professional.
I am told repeatedly that my belly will cost me jobs, conveys laziness, and that I will ‘never be considered’ because I have fat on my stomach. During this growing period of my life (ages 5-25), my weight consistently fluctuates from exercising 4-7 days a week, hormones, diet switches, and several big life changes. Yet annually the doctor reports me as a healthy human.
So I just have a question for everyone: when did we start thinking that being thin equals being healthy?
And when did we start thinking that others aren’t happy if they’re not small?
Often I find inspiring body-positive posts on my Instagram explore page that help me really enjoy my body’s size. The other day I saw a post about the societal ideal of maintaining a ‘flat stomach.’ The caption stuck out to me. The post discussed the common misconceptions women believe about having stomach fat:
“Women naturally hold more fat around their lower abdomen and pelvis because our bodies are trying to protect our reproductive organs. Some women hold more fat than others, depending on genetics, body composition, and overall health. We aren’t all designed to have completely flat stomachs. Unfortunately though, we aren’t taught about genetics, fat composition, hormones or body composition growing up. Instead we are taught to follow unrealistic beauty standards and health goals.”
I don’t know about you, but these words were mostly news to me! Yet I immediately knew it is the truth. No matter what age I’ve been or how many pounds I weighed, I’ve always had curves.
My mom has had a similar experience. Growing up I remember my mom and I would share complaints about our persistent pooches. She has always related to my insecurities because she too has never had a truly flat stomach and was berated when she was younger for having a belly. Like so many, her genetics prevent from her from ever attaining the ideal of flat, toned abs. My mom is easily the healthiest and one of the slimmest people I know, yet she still criticizes herself for ‘being too pudgy’.
In an effort to change our narrative, I sent her a screenshot of the Instagram post that inspired me. She was receptive of body-positivity and we had a really amazing discussion. It was so healing for me to talk about my body differently with her. She knows my struggles more than probably anyone else in my life, and to see her immediately be open to loving ourselves more made me realize how needed our discussion was. (I won’t share the screenshots here because that is private between my mom and I, but she finished the conversation by saying “Maybe I was meant to have a belly so I could push out two beautiful healthy girls.” I know, my mom is the sweetest right!)
I ended up sharing the conversation in a private story to my closest friends the next day as an effort to spread body-positivity. I expected no one to respond. Hours later, my Instagram had a lot of messages! So many people in my life, big and small bodied, had sent me their thanks. By being vulnerable I had reminded them to love themselves more. Some I even had discussions with about society’s expectations of our bodies, talking to loved ones about our bodies, and being generally kinder to ourselves.
I can name at least five people off the top of my head who struggle with their body image. You probably can name people too. We shouldn’t live our lives like this. I want to help change this idea that our bodies are something to be judged and analyzed. In reality, size does not determine health.
Health is defined as “the state of being free from illness or injury” (Oxford Dictionary). I’ve loved eating since I was a baby. It is just not in the stars for me to not be enjoying delicious food. As far as I’m concerned health-wise, I’m not sick and I’m not injured. I just got a little bit of extra fat on my stomach. I call it my “foodie pouch” because like the kangaroo it holds all my favorite meals (I love chocolate y’all). Perhaps having a foodie pouch isn’t so bad. I mean, my body is simply the vessel holding my soul. Who declared that vessel needs to be small?
As I am getting older, my body is ultimately settling into itself. I am free to see my body how I choose. Some of my clothes are tighter than a year ago. I have noticed my stomach is bigger too. But, instead of critiquing myself for not having washboard abs, I look at my belly and thank it. Now I think its cute! I am healthy. I am happy. I am loved. None of that changed when I was 10 pounds smaller, and none of it will change if I am 10 pounds bigger.
Oh, and if my body does not look how you want it to, that is not my problem, because you are not me. People project their insecurities onto others. You don’t have to be one of those meanie weanies! Love your body. It has done so much for you and will continue to do so until you have no more days left. Don’t spend your life criticizing it. It’s honestly just not worth your time.
Thank you for reading and remember to please please pleaseeee love yourself all day every day. In the end, all we have is each other! Stay strong cuties!
Happy Lovin,
Claire Prigge 😊